Anger is a natural emotion and menopause is a natural stage of life for women. Menopause describes the point of transition from a woman’s reproductive to non-reproductive life stage. However, if anger is left If left untreated, anger during this transition can increase one’s risk of developing depression.
When does menopause happen?
Menopause is a process that starts with a peri-menopausal phase and transitions through menopause to post-menopause. When it happens, it is different for every women however, it is generally accepted that perimenopause occurs for most women in their 40’s. For some, it’s earlier and for others, it’s later.
3 Ways menopause can cause you to be angry
There are many reasons why women in this phase of life may become irritated and angry. It can be because of a result of menopausal symptoms, biological changes in hormone levels or psychosocial stressors.
1. The menopausal symptoms feed into anger
Some of it could be due to other perimenopause and menopause symptoms. For example, if you are struggling to sleep well because of night sweats, migraines, and itchy skin, then you are likely to feel exhausted which will inevitably lead to irritation and anger.
2. The biological reason for feeling angry during menopause
There could be a biological reason for your unexplained anger. As you move through perimenopause and beyond your body’s hormone levels are constantly changing. Your estrogen levels are fluctuating and decreasing, as are your serotonin levels. Serotonin’s most well-known function is to regulate your mood. As a result, if your estrogen levels are higher than your serotonin levels, then you are likely to experience irritability and depressive symptoms. This imbalance can also be responsible for your surprising, out-of-control anger and rage.
That is why many women are prescribed selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) during this phase to increase serotonin levels. SSRIs are usually prescribed for mood disorders as an antidepressant however low doses have also been effective in managing mood during perimenopause and menopause phases.
3. Stressful lifestyle and psychosocial stressors
Modern lifestyle is stressful and without hormonal fluctuations is easier to manage. However, as you enter perimenopause and the associated hormone fluctuations it gets less easy. Research shows that estrogen fluctuations can increase your sensitivity to stressors and to social rejection in particular. Sensitivities are felt even more when coupled with psychosocial stressors like divorce or bereavement.
If you have been adept at managing emotions and your stress levels prior to menopause, it is likely that you will experience less anger during menopause. However, if you are starting to experience anger and it’s a complete shock to you, you may need to learn new skills to help you better manage your stress and emotions in addition to considering medical advice.
Anger has less to do with what happens to you than how you interpret and think about what happened.
7 Ways to deal with absolute anger related to perimenopause and menopause
While you may choose to go with medication, it may not suppress your anger symptoms completely. Nor would it be healthy if it did. A healthy approach would be to adopt a two-pronged approach to managing your anger and perimenopause and menopause phases. Here are some suggestions on how to deal with your perimenopause and menopause anger directly.
1. Accept your anger
Suppressing your anger so that you do not upset anyone doesn’t help anyone. Research tells us that “self-silencing,” or finding ways to keep yourself from acknowledging and expressing your anger, puts you at a greater risk of experiencing depression. Read a previous blog to find out more about self-acceptance.
2. Identify your triggers
Identify your triggers and notice when you are starting to feel angry so you can acknowledge it then rather than when you’re about to explode, which is undoubtedly harder to process then.
3. Count to 10
When you notice you are angry take the opportunity to step back and notice what is going on. Make sure you breathe and count to ten before you respond to the situation you are in.
4. Deep breathing
Diaphragmatic breathing and other mindfulness stress reduction practices can help you to decrease the incidences of hot flushes which could be waking you up at night.
5. Physical exercise
Cardio exercise is recommended as it releases endorphins and serotonin which provides a top-up to your lowered serotonin levels. If your preference is for something less active, studies show that yoga and walking are effective exercises for overcoming menopausal symptoms. However, the impact is limited if your cardio fitness is low. To really benefit from yoga and walking, you need to increase your cardio fitness level.
6. Plant estrogens
Add foods rich in phytoestrogens or plant estrogens, for example, soybeans, legumes, and some fruits and vegetables into your diet. Plant estrogens have been shown to help alleviate the symptoms of perimenopause and menopause.
7. Engage in ACT therapy or counselling
Research shows that ACT-based counselling can improve the mood of menopausal women. This approach encourages clients to accept internal experiences as an alternative to trying to control them. As a result, experiences seem less threatening and have less effect on a person’s life.
5 Strategies clients have used to better manage their anger
- Cut back on all sugars
- Eat cinnamon toast and oatmeal for breakfast
- Journaling
- Exercising in nature
- Pillow to scream into and release the feelings
If you feel like your anger is impacting your day-to-day experiences and quality of life, seek help by speaking to someone you trust. There is no need to give up work or withdraw from relationships because of your perimenopausal or menopausal anger. Anger emerges as a result of three interconnecting factors. Being angry all the time is not normal, although some people believe it is! Persistent anger is really a sign that your problem-solving skills have been exhausted and it’s time to speak to a professional who can assist you in developing more skills and strategies.
Martine is an accredited menopause coach and ACT therapist. If you would like to discuss your symptoms with me, book in a confidential call and we can explore your options together on how you can better process your anger and reduce your overall menopause symptoms.
Related Posts:
Anger: A misunderstood emotion
Self-directed anger can be more harmful than other forms of anger
