“I know something is amiss because last Christmas I was happy and this Christmas just gone, I felt flat. I struggled to feel anything positive or joyous. I want to understand what’s going on and how I can feel like my old self again.” James shared in our first counselling session. “I am generally a positive person. I used to be fairly happy, go-lucky. I like my life, but now each day feels like a drag.”
James is not alone. Many men and women feel a lack of joy in their life and don’t know what to do about it. Many are reluctant to discuss it because they perceive it shows there’s something wrong with them and that’s not true. They have just lost the ability to experience and hold on to joy.
With all the demands of a go-getting modern lifestyle, not to mention the demands you put on yourself to be the best you can be, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. The relentless bombardment of information and desire to do well can suck out the joy from life, without much effort. It doesn’t have to be that way – you can find joy in your life.
Why experiencing joy can be hard
Experiencing joy is good for you
Finding and experiencing joy is not a fluffy concept. Research shows that joy is an emotional response and outlook, and it’s important for your wellbeing, cognitive functioning, and your performance at work.
To increase the amount of joy in your life, you need to actively go and look for it as experiencing joy is an active choice. Your experience of joy changes across the lifespan, as your life changes. Finding joy in your life is an ongoing journey that begins with a set of practices, outlined below.
9 Ways to find more moments of joy
1. Practice presence
With the onslaught of new information in this fast-paced world, you’re always thinking about your next move. If you’re always looking forward and searching for better, how can you experience joy? Take the time to notice what’s happening around you and savor it.
2. Practice gratitude
Practicing gratitude isn’t a part-time occupation. To make your own joy, you need to learn how to be grateful for both the good and the bad things that happen in your life. When bad things do happen, gratitude sees these challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. Your mistakes and failures can become steppingstones to success if you allow your joy to act throughout your life.
3. Set intentions
How do you start the day? How can you wake up with a positive mindset? When you are prepared, excited, and accepting of what each day has to offer, you can use your joy to navigate through the day. Similarly, when you start the day in a negative mood, disappointed with life, and feeling like a failure, you don’t have the residual joy to overcome obstacles. Start your day by writing or speaking your intention to make the most of every minute you have.
4. Do what you love
No matter what you do for a living, find something in your work that satisfies and delights you, after all there was a reason why you were attracted to it in the first place. No matter how big or small that activity is, focus on it. By focusing on those activities that satisfy and delight you, you start to make your own joy, especially when you feel productive and useful.
5. Practice kindness
Being kind and helpful to your friends, family and colleagues by treating them as you would like to be treated. Spread the joy through kindness!
6. Stop comparing yourself to others
Instead of comparing your life to other people’s success, you can make your own joy by being grateful for what you have and who you are today. Comparison creates resentment and dissatisfaction with life, not joy. When you feel secure and happy with yourself, circumstances can’t change your joy. Instead, you can use your joy to make our circumstances more enjoyable.
7. Stop worrying
You’re wasting time and energy focusing on your lack of joy instead of creating joy in your life. Worry doesn’t change anything, if anything it robs you of joy by keeping you from focusing on the present and the good things happening in your life. By replacing worry with joy, you take control of your mindset and emotions. You have the choice of reacting to your circumstances or using your joy to learn from them.
8. Laugh more
According to scientists, laughing relieves stress and boosts your mood. Laughing can help you find the funny, absurd, and joy in any situation. It helps you focus on your shared circumstances and offers support in troubled times. Laughing releases fear and anxiety and helps you make your own joy.
9. Be bold
Remember, joy doesn’t just happen. By accepting challenges and opportunities with boldness and confidence, you make your own joy. The satisfaction that comes from trying and learning something new, regardless of if you succeed or fail. Don’t allow circumstances of failure to take your joy from you. Every challenge is an opportunity to experience joy.
Even when you feel like it would be impossible to experience joy, do not give up on yourself. Your feelings can be reversed with the right circumstances and practices. If you are struggling to find joy and these 9 practices don’t help, then turn to others for inspiration. Use the group technique i.e., find others and inspire each other.
If you are keen to experience more joy in your life, book in a free discovery call where we can discuss your experience of joy and what might be getting in the way of you experiencing more of it.
Related Posts:
How to experience joy regardless of your situation
I am happy, so why I can’t I feel joy?
