Often clients book in to see me because they are confused about how they feel. They describe themselves as having a positive outlook, reasonably successful and having a supportive friendship group yet experiencing joy eludes them. What are they doing wrong?
You don’t have to be doing anything wrong to feel this way. Experiencing happiness does not guarantee experiencing joy while experiencing joy may increase the likelihood of experiencing happiness.
In this blog post, we’ll explore what happiness is and how it differs from joy. We’ll also look at 11 barriers that prevent you from experiencing joy.
What is happiness?
Like all emotions, happiness is subjective. It is a multifaceted emotional state characterized by a sense of well-being, contentment, and satisfaction with one’s life. It is often described as a positive and pleasant emotional experience.
5 Key aspects of happiness
1. Positive emotions
Happiness is associated with experiencing positive emotions such as joy, love, excitement, and fulfilment. It involves a general sense of positivity and an overall positive outlook on life.
2. Life satisfaction
Happiness encompasses a feeling of overall satisfaction with one’s life, including various domains such as relationships, work, health, personal achievements, and purpose. It involves a sense of fulfilment and the belief that one’s life has meaning and purpose.
3. Subjective perception
Happiness is subjective, meaning it varies from person to person. What brings happiness to one individual may differ from what brings happiness to another. Each person has unique values, goals, and preferences that influence their experience of happiness.
4. Eudemonic and hedonic well-being
Happiness can be understood from both a eudemonic perspective and a hedonic perspective. Eudemonic well-being emphasizes a sense of fulfilment and living in accordance with one’s values and purpose. Hedonic well-being focuses on maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain in life.
5. Long-term state
Happiness is not merely a fleeting emotion but rather a long-term state of well-being and contentment. It involves a general sense of positivity and satisfaction with life that persists over time, even during challenging periods.
It’s important to note that happiness is a complex and dynamic concept that can be influenced by various factors, including genetics, personality traits, external circumstances, and individual choices. While external events and circumstances can impact happiness to some extent, research suggests that a significant portion of happiness is within an individual’s control through intentional actions and attitudes.
Are joy and happiness the same?
Often happiness is mistaken for joy or vice versa but unfortunately, they’re not the same. Joy and happiness are closely related and can be distinguished in terms of their nature and duration.
Joy is generally described as a deep, intense feeling of delight or elation. It often arises from a particular experience, event, or achievement and is often more intense and short-lived compared to happiness. Joy is often associated with a sense of inner fulfilment, excitement, or euphoria. It can be sparked by various factors, such as personal accomplishments, meaningful relationships, or moments of beauty and inspiration.
Happiness, on the other hand, is a broader and more enduring emotional state. It encompasses a general sense of contentment, satisfaction, and well-being in life. Happiness is not necessarily dependent on specific events or circumstances but can be influenced by them. It is often described as a long-term state of being rather than a fleeting experience.
While joy can contribute to overall happiness, happiness is a more encompassing and sustainable emotional state. Happiness tends to be influenced by a range of factors, including personal values, relationships, health, work satisfaction, and a sense of purpose. It can also be influenced by one’s mindset, resilience, and ability to find meaning and gratitude in everyday life.
In summary, joy can be seen as a powerful and intense burst of positive emotion derived from specific experiences, while happiness is a broader, more enduring state of well-being and contentment. Joy can contribute to happiness, but happiness encompasses a wider range of emotions and is influenced by various factors beyond momentary joyous experiences.
11 Barriers to experiencing joy
Feeling happy but not experiencing joy can be influenced by several factors that are mostly hidden to you. Perhaps you can recognise a few here.
1. Emotional distinction
Happiness and joy are distinct emotions, although they are related. They come with different somatic experiences and meaning however they can be lumped together until you are able to distinguish between the two. Often reflective review is helpful in developing awareness of the differences between the two.
2. Emotional range
Each individual has a unique emotional range and disposition. Some people naturally tend to experience joy more frequently and intensely, while others may have a different emotional makeup that makes joyous emotions less prominent. It’s important to recognize and appreciate the emotions you do feel, even if they are not explicitly labelled as joy.
3. Expectations and definitions
Sometimes, our expectations of what joy should feel like can impact our ability to recognize and appreciate it. If you have preconceived notions of what joy should be, you might overlook or dismiss more subtle expressions of joy that are present in your life. Expanding your understanding of joy and being open to different manifestations can help you recognize it more readily.
4. Mindset and perspective
A negative mindset, pessimism, or a tendency to focus on problems and shortcomings can limit the experience of joy. If one is constantly dwelling on negative aspects or expecting the worst, it becomes challenging to fully embrace and savour joyful moments.
5. Negative circumstances
External factors such as challenging life events, personal setbacks, or difficult situations can make it harder for you to experience joy. For example, if someone is going through a period of grief, illness, or financial stress, it may be difficult for them to feel joyous emotions.
6. Mindfulness and presence
Joy often arises from being fully present at the moment and savouring positive experiences. If you are constantly distracted, preoccupied, or rushing through life, it can be challenging to fully engage with and experience joy. Cultivating mindfulness and being present in the here and now can enhance your capacity to notice and embrace moments of joy.
7. Emotional state
One’s current emotional state can influence the ability to experience joy. If a person is experiencing sadness, anxiety, or depression, it can dampen their capacity to feel joyous emotions. Negative emotions can overshadow or diminish the ability to fully engage with and appreciate moments of joy.
8. Internal barriers
Internal factors such as stress, anxiety, negative thinking patterns, or unresolved emotional issues can create barriers to experiencing joy. If you are burdened by these barriers, they may overshadow or inhibit your ability to fully experience joyous emotions. It can be helpful to address and work through these barriers with self-reflection, therapy, or other supportive practices.
9. Comparison and envy
Comparing oneself to others and feeling envious of their achievements or possessions can diminish joy. Constantly comparing oneself to others creates a mindset of lack and dissatisfaction, making it harder to appreciate and celebrate one’s own blessings.
10. Lack of gratitude
Failing to cultivate gratitude and appreciation for the present moment can limit joy. When one does not take time to acknowledge and be thankful for the positive aspects of life, it becomes challenging to experience genuine joy and contentment.
11. External pressures and expectations
Societal pressures, cultural norms, and personal expectations can sometimes create barriers to experiencing joy. If one feels burdened by excessive responsibilities, societal expectations, or self-imposed pressures, it may be challenging to let go, relax, and fully embrace moments of joy.
It’s important to note that while these factors can limit joy, they are not necessarily insurmountable obstacles. By addressing and working through these limitations, you can cultivate an environment and mindset that allows for greater joy and well-being. It’s essential to be patient with yourself and appreciate the emotions you do feel, whether they align with conventional ideas of joy or not. Additionally, exploring activities, hobbies, and relationships that bring you a sense of fulfilment and happiness can create more opportunities for experiencing joy in your life.
In summary, it is possible to experience happiness and not joy however there are many strategies that can be used to increase your chances of experiencing joy.
If you would like to experience more joy, book in a confidential call where we can discuss your experience of joy and what might be getting in the way of you experiencing more of it.
Related Posts:
How to experience joy regardless of your situation
Finding joy in the moments of life
